Writing Your Life Story: Finding Your Golden Spike

Think of it as a railroad, not a blank page

I've spent years teaching a framework I call On the Right Track. It starts with a picture instead of a rule. Every day brings a lot of small, forgettable data — that's the gravel, the bed a railroad track sits on. On top of the gravel are the ties: the big moments you actually remember because of the emotion attached to them.

The gravel and the ties together support two rails — one is your human journey, and the other is your spiritual journey, however you understand that word. Each tie is held down by spikes, one of which is golden: the raw, honest truth sitting inside that particular memory.

That's the whole framework. You don't need to write your autobiography this week. You need to find one tie — one moment that still has some emotional weight to it — and ask what golden spike is sitting inside it.

A Place to Actually Start

Pick one tie. Write down, in plain language, what actually happened — just the facts, three or four sentences. Then write one more sentence answering this: what did this moment reveal about you, or change about how you saw things afterward? That second sentence is usually the golden spike. Everything else in a life story is really just more of this, one tie at a time.

I found my own way into this sideways. A phone call on December 23, 1991, asking if I'd play Santa at a small mall, turned into 26 years in the suit — and eventually into this whole second career built around story. I didn't plan any of it. Looking back, the things that shaped me most weren't the things I chose. They were the things that pursued me. That's usually true of other people's golden spikes too, once they go looking for them.

The Power of Storytelling

Storytelling is a powerful tool. It connects us to our past and helps us understand our present. When we share our stories, we invite others into our experiences. This act of sharing can foster empathy and understanding. It can also inspire others to reflect on their own lives.

As I teach storytelling, I emphasize the importance of authenticity. Every story has its own unique truth. Finding that truth is essential. It’s what makes a story resonate. When you share your golden spike, you share a piece of yourself. This connection can create a ripple effect, encouraging others to explore their own narratives.

Embracing the Journey

Writing your life story is not just about the end product. It's about the journey you take to get there. Each moment you explore adds depth to your narrative. Embrace the process. Allow yourself to reflect on your experiences.

As you write, you may uncover new insights. You may find that certain memories hold more weight than you initially thought. This exploration can lead to personal growth. It can also enhance your storytelling skills.

Conclusion: Your Story Matters

In the end, your story matters. Every moment you choose to write about contributes to a larger narrative. By focusing on one tie at a time, you can create a rich tapestry of experiences. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Many have walked this path before you, and many will follow.

If this way of thinking about your own story is useful, there's a free short ebook that walks through the whole framework and a few more true stories from my own life. It's available to anyone who subscribes to my Substack newsletter, where I write about this every week.